The Incredibly Boring Secret Of Longevity

Statistics out today show that there are more people (I say 'people' but I actually mean 'ancient duffers') in Scotchland living to the rancid old age of 100. Given Scotchland's international reputation for drinking, smoking, drugs and deep-fried pizza that fact is remarkable in itself.
Anyway, the BBC (yet another no-news day in Scotchland - no dogs murdered by guys in turbans etc) - showed a wee snippet of some old wummin in Ayr or some other seagull-infested rat hole, energetically sweeping her carpet with one of those ancient carpet-sweeper things then putting a wee pie in her oven for her dinner. When asked her secret of longevity old Isa McGlumpherty listed stuff like 'doing wee puzzles', sitting', 'not catching fatal diseases', 'festering' and 'making sure that old cow across the road doesn't let her cat shite in my back garden 24/7'.
So, there you have it. If you want to live to 100 (and fuck knows why) all you have to do is never smoke, drink, do weed, have sex, watch scary films or anything else that's likely to make your heart rate go above about 12 or 13 beats a month.
Yikes...OK then, no sex. Anyway, the BBC piece finished with a question: although the percentage of the population in Scotchland 100 years or more has increased over the last ten years, it's still smaller then the percentage of the UK population over 100; why is that? Maybe more oldies are dying before they reach 100....